How Pasta Are You?

Pasta (adj) – Someone who is A-MAZING, possesses all of the qualities of what is stereotypically jappy, but is not necessarily Jewish. Obviously, this person LOVES pasta. You don’t have to be female to be pasta, but you almost certainly have a direct relationship with a member/ thousands of members of the Pasta 10 Conference:

Bowdoin
Colby
Bates
Amherst
Connecticut College
Hamilton
Trinity Tufts
Middlebury
Wesleyan
Williams

Below is a list of some other things that are pasta. How pasta are you?

1. If you got over 630 on your SAT(thats how many calories are in a cup of Orecchiette), then it is with 100% certainty that you or one of your five best friends growing up attended a school in the Pasta 10.
2. You know numerous girls named Chris, Claire, Kaye, Kate, or Care.
3. The word “SLUTS” is the most amazing word in the dictionary and the word that describes just about everything.
4. Oh, and any activity is “So Cleavage!”
5. Bean Boots vs. Mocs- So comfortable- but are they worth it?
6. Sweatpants with writing down the side. http://bowdoinsweats.blogspot.com
7. Gin Bucket- aka “Mama's Milk”- the greatest drink ever (low cal, obv).
8. Helmreich or Reed- Get in or you are OUT!
9. CAMP!
10. Someone you lived with in college attended one of these high schools: Dalton, Whitman, Andover, St. Pauls, Ransom Everglades, or Poly.
11. Post graduation city options- New York, Boston or LA- That’s it!
12. Law school for guys- followed by jobs that require at least 100 hour work weeks- complaining about the hours (standard) but zero chance you’ll leave. Same applies for banking! (You justify it by telling people you’re learning a ton…)
13. Law school for girls- Great place to meet a LAWYER!
14. Agency Training in LA- Ari Gold is your hero (Daddy is making payments on your beamer because you make 28k a year but HAVE to fit in at Trousdale).
15. PR for girls (editor’s note: what in the world is a career in PR? What does Ali do all day?- I’m sure it’s A-mazing).
16. Backwards words i.e. YTRAP!
17. Smiley faces.
18. Backpacks- at least one for every day of the week.
19. First apartment in NYC- Home.
20. For bros who crave the continuation of the frat life- until their job and their Pastette turn them into their dad- we’ll see you on the StuyTown basketball courts this weekend.
21. Second Apartment- 111 Maine.
22. Third Apartment- 17 Cleaveland Street(So mature).
23. Work hard play harder… until you’re 26 and you HAVE to get engaged.
24. Speaking of engaged- Did a girl you lived with in college just get engaged? Give it 8 months before the other 5 girls in your house do too? A-MAZING!
25. Girlfriend is out of town- gonna rage with my bros!
26. Future book clubbers of America.
27. Did we mention how A-mazing the word “sluts” is?
28. Oh, and “Yay.”
29. Little dogs.
30. You watch at least 2 versions of the Real Housewives.
31. Pasta 7 days per week? Need to stay healthy... not!
32. The gym!
33. Yoga/ Spinning- Obv! OMG, Soul Cycle! Who’s your fave instructor?
34. Thorne vs. Moulton- a bigger rivalry than Yankees vs. Red Sox.
35. Irrational crying!
36. Die hard Yankee Fan. Oh! And now I love the KNICKS! How much are tickets?!
37. Marloboro lights!
38. If you didn’t go to a school with a major college football team, you root for another school in the Pasta 10 because of your relationship from rule 1. “My brother went to Michigan!”
39. Slumming in college meant an extended period sleeping with a lacrosse player. But that is so DUNZO. Now it is strictly older guys who can afford the best pasta (Who have careers stemming from rule 12 or 14).
40. Facebook for Pastettes-looking at girls from high school to see how they look now. “Definitely hope she is fat. I hated that bitch!”
41. Facebook for Pastbros- Checking out girls I wanna smash.
42. Facebook Status #1- “Pasta with my girls. LOVE YA BITCHES.”
43. Facebook Status #2- “Obsessed with my girls!”
44. Birthdays! At least one a weekend. That’s why ME is amazing. So many people here!
45. Come to my Joint birthday party with EMILY on the LES… I would so never live there, though, GROSS… But it’s so fun to go out down there! You better come (And feel free to bring whoever).
46. Nickname for your group of girl friends has something to do with how large their breasts are: Cleavage! (Unless they are simply, your besties or favs!)
47. Having a really close gay friend.
48. Being way too busy with work!!!
49. Happy hour!
50. Spicy Tuna roll, ginger salad and a vodka soda… I’m full!
51. Two dates in and David is “your man” or “your babe.”
52. Two dates in and Becky is “your lady” or “your babe.”
53. Seth has very strong opinions about sports.
54. He plays in multiple fantasy leagues.
55. And he worships the sports guy.
56. If he wasn’t good at sports in high school, he didn’t let the brothers know during rush…
57. Special pants!!! So warm, but do they make my ass look fat?
58. “I went to Bowdoin.” Translation- I went to a really good private school that funnels pasta there”…LEGACY!
59. “I was deciding between Brown, Bowdoin, and Colby.” Translation- I got rejected early decision from Penn.
60. “I went to Bowdoin because I wanted to have fun.” Translation- I couldn’t get into Brown.
61. “I just wanted to go to Bowdoin with my besties.” Translation- You are a true ambassador of PASTA.
62. “I went to BOBO.” Translation- I am rich and from Just Outside Boston.
63. Let’s go to Joshuas on Saturday or Sunday- TO MEET TOWNIES!
64. Soco and Lime shots! SOAF 2010!!!
65. Abbrevs! How is this #65? It’s the only way you talk!
66. At least 1 of your besties from the Cleaveage (#46) will not be one of your favs by three years out of college. They so stole “my man.”
67. I’ve been in Boston for 5 years. I think I want to try NY. THE WEATHER!
68. I’ve been in NY for 5 years. “Ugh, Traffic.” I think I want to try Boston! THE ACTION!
69. Bridesmaid speech- “Claire LOVES good food. We always knew Claire would marry a LAWYER!” (Editor’s note: do some people not like good food?)
70. Molasses Cookies- SO FUN!
71. The South- EWW- But I hear Austin is AMAZING!
72. ZEBRA CAKES!
73. You refer to celebrities by their first names.
74. You tell people who ask you where you are from that you are from Just Outside Boston –or whichever pasta hotbed you currently reside- not the suburb you grew up in.
75. If you happen to be from NYC or LA, you always include “I grew up there” or “born and raised” to rule 74.
76. You live with one of your besties from Whitman…A…MAZING!
77. Being set up!
78. Let’s get drinks? (something chill of course)
79. 25 and under= my friends are so hot!
80. Over 25= She’s single. Do you want to meet her?
81. A long and prosperous career…Till I’m 30 and want to have BABIES!
82. Whip my hair back and forth…
83. “That’s so funny!” (no joke was told) – Leads to more hair twirling.
84. Visits to Miami.
85. Reality television shows… It gets personal. You actively discuss the characters as if they have real life significance: “She’s such a bitch!”
86. You watch animal hoarders on the reg. EWW CATS! SO DISGUSTING!
87. You are 3 degrees removed from a 17 and Pregnant or I Used to be Fat castmate: “My bestie’s cousin went to college with her. She is SO not like that in real life!”
88. Cosmo- Sufficient reading for the week? Totes!
89. New Years- NY or LA? It’s always such a let down when we stay in the city! Why am I stressing about this?!
90. Deloitte. Not sure what it is, but I so want to date a guy who does it!
91. Dudes who wear winter hats backwards (fashionable!)
92. Scarves…in 50 degree weather!
93. “Excuse me. Can you take a picture?…Hold on; let me see it really quick… Do you mind taking another?(Let’s do the kissie face with this one)…Ok, you can take it now. Thanks!”
94. Flannels- I don’t give a fuck… but I so do. Meet you the Little Dog in 20?
95. Fashion week- Super Bowl for Ms. Spicy Tuna Roll.
96. Which shoes should I wear?
97. NYU would be so in, except that it’s not college, it’s a 4 year head start on drug abuse and pasta intake. (Note to NYU students- Take 4 years, and go have a college campus. It’s fun. Plenty of time to spend $2,000/month on rent).
98. Skinny arms and calves—Is anything more important?!
99. Time for Brunch with my cleavage! ( YAY!)– GG, TTYL!